搞笑图文：他现在是本校校花

天下尘封

（1）我们一家三口去餐厅吃饭，吃完饭老公一摸口袋，坏笑着说忘带钱了。我说那把你压这里吧，老公说老板不要我啊！我说那把我压这里吧，老公说那可不行！！旁边的4岁闺女委屈的说，“看样子，你俩是觉得把我压这里 最合适对吧。。。”

（大哥我劝你还跑吧！）

（2）同桌是这个世界上最了解你的人了。他看着你上课玩手机，看着你考试作弊，看着你吃东西弄得满嘴油，看着你对着镜子挤痘痘，看着你伤心的时候偷偷哭，看着你悄悄写给别人的纸条，然而他还是一直坐在你的身边。所以，如果还能再见到他的话，找个机会，干掉他吧。他知道的太多了！

（有点辣眼1）

（3）公司里来了两个女生面试，一个长发细腿人美波大，另一个身材相貌都很平庸。大家都打赌老总肯定会录取第一个，没想到老总却录取了后者。众人纳闷不已，只见老总说道：我就是要让那些漂亮的人知道，在这个社会立足光靠长相是根本没用的！台下掌声雷动，三个月后那个没被录取的女人成了我们的老板娘。

（前面的是小花？哎呦。。。我去。。）

（4）昨天去好哥们家里做客，一进门就看见他的几个孩子在房间里奔来跑去吵吵嚷嚷个不停。他看了看我，若有所思地说：“兄弟，你可千万别要孩子。”我微微一笑：“因为太辛苦么？”他摇摇头：“不，因为你太丑了。”

（传说中的摸头杀？）

（5）公园里，我观察她很久了，她一个人默默坐在那里兀自喝着啤酒，眼睛红红的好像有心事的样子。一瞬间各种疑问在我脑海一闪而过，关于这个谜一样的漂亮女人。眼看她将长凳上第三罐啤酒饮尽，环顾四周还有不少搭讪者伺机而动，不能再犹豫了。我鼓足勇气抢先凑上前，关切地问她:”姑娘，你这罐子还要吗？”

（看动作以为是个王者，谁知道是个青铜！）

（6）发小溜大街，看到一个靓妹，那妹子一边走路，一边玩手机，那货连忙冲过去，抱起妹子就跑，跑出10米多远，把一脸懵哔的妹子放下来，指着后面广告牌，严肃的跟妹子说:“那牌子随时都会砸下来，下次走路不要玩手机了，多危险啊！”现在他们俩，孩子都两岁了，牌子还搁那稳稳当当得挂着…

（点外卖没给饭盒？难不倒我的）

（7）今天被我那五岁的表妹给涮了一把！她攥紧双手对我说：“哥哥，你猜猜我手里有几个开心果，如果你猜对了，两个都给你。”我对她轻蔑的笑了笑，说：“两个。”她听完松开双手大声的喊道：“错啦，是一个！”我当场内牛满面啊！

（猫：我看你滚到什么时候？）

（8）现在骗子的骗术越来越高明了。就在几分钟前有个陌生电话打给我，开头就问：我是谁啊？卧槽，经典的电话骗术开头！我就回：你是谁？骗子：我是谁你听不出来？我回：你到底是谁！骗子：XX，我是你大伯啊，你听不出来？这是我新电话你记一下…我：SB滚吧，还想骗人，就你这智商还是回家喝奶吧！…大家一定要提防这种骗子。咦？我爸的电话打来了

（这是上朝要迟到吗？这么急！）

（9）本人有个二货女友唐某某。我：你告诉我你妈姓什么，我就知道你爸姓什么！ 女友说我妈姓陈，然后我掐指算状严肃说：你爸姓唐对不对？ 女友顿时觉得好神奇啊，还问我是怎么知道的。

（兄弟你这智商可以告别开车了）

（10）有一天，某大学校长打电话给某家长：“先生，我有一个好消息和一个坏消息，都是关于您儿子的。”家长：“校长，先说坏消息吧！ ”校长：“坏消息是，您儿子的动作非常女性化。”家长：“那好消息呢？”校长：“好消息是他现在是本校校花！ ”

喜欢段子的朋友关注一下吧！

FrankJScott

In response to the guy asking about game slot joker gaming, togel singapore dan hongkong hari ini, bo togel pasaran lengkap, bocoran togel sdy hari ini, online terpercaya, main togel online, game depo pulsa, slots pulsa, ikan gaming, togel casino,  I highly recommend this useful SONTOGEL forum or situs slot yang gampang menang, hadiah slot online, situs togel terpercaya toto, akun togel, prediksi nomor togel hongkong, angka jadi togel hari ini, main slot apa, daftar togel hongkong, hasil keluaran hk hari ini, itu togel, bearing in mind this conversational tone on SON TOGEL tips alongside all situs web slot terpercaya, situs slot game terbaru, cara mendapatkan angka jitu, toto hk siang, hasil sgp hari ini, idn live slot, hasil keluaran sgp hari ini, slot gampang menang, pengeluaran togel singapore hari ini, judi slot online terbaik, as well as this read more here for LINK ALTERNATIF SONTOGEL link which is also great. Also, have a look at this what do you think on SONTOTO url together with bandar toto, situs slot baru, situs game slot resmi, angka bocoran togel sgp, situs judi online terpercaya, judi terpercaya, slot nolimit city, game online resmi, slot online deposit pulsa bonus new member, 3 angka togel, together with this read this post here about LOGIN SONTOGEL site not forgetting sites such as slot gopay 24 jam, situs slot tembak ikan, situs judi terpercaya di indonesia, sbo slot, buat akun togel resmi,  over at this website on not to mention situs idn slot online, situs resmi terpercaya, master slot online, link slot yang bagus, bandar togel online terbesar,  for good measure. Check more @ [url=https://hecha2.lol/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=2616&pid=12018&page=15&extra=page%3D1#pid12018]High Rated SONTOTO cba60b3

FrankJScott

In reply to the lady asking about please swimming pool, pool skimming robot, your pool store, good robotic pool cleaner, pool drainers, swimming pool cleaning tips, cheap pool robot, on swimming pool, pool automatic vacuum, pool cleaner not working,  I highly recommend this from this source on robotic pool cleaner link or aiper smart robotic pool cleaner, pool drainers, scuba pool cleaning, by the swimming pool, i clean pools, reviews on robotic pool cleaners, to clean pool, robotic pool cleaner that cleans waterline, pool cleaning businesses, robotic pool cleaners on sale, on top of this updated robotic pool cleaner info together with this is a swimming pool, pool usage, swimming pool websites, robotic pool cleaner deals, pool cleaning product, pool robot cleaner near me, waterline cleaning, pool cleaner pool, pool blog, manage your pool, and don't forget this look at this on robotic pool cleaner info which is also great. Also, have a look at this recommended you read about robotic pool cleaner site not to mention a pool cleaner, swimming pool from, swimming pool websites, robotic cleaners, robot swimming pool, swimming pools at, swimming pool in the, smart pool robotic cleaner, aiper pool cleaner, about swimming pool, not forgetting sites such as this find on robotic pool cleaner blog not forgetting sites such as easiest way to clean a pool, pool s, swimming pool i, easiest way to clean pool, swimming pool swimming pool swimming pool swimming pool,  source for bearing in mind swimming pool robot cleaner, swimming pool swimming, discount swimming pools, robotic pool cleaner waterline, max pools,  for good measure. Check more @ Great Currency Exchange Site 60b34e9