一名美国黑人父亲的自述：为何我也怕黑人？

warriow

编译薛雨婷，这才是美国驻加州记者。

每次碰见不认识的黑人时，我都让自己打起精神，做好迎接攻击的准备，尽管每次他们都只是对我点点头，说声“hi，兄弟。”
这就是我为什么在1995年特地跑去华盛顿参加一个黑人集会的原因。我需要把自己浸在全是黑人的海洋里，来减轻我隐藏在内心深处对黑皮肤的恐惧。是的，我怕黑人。
尽管我有一群黑人兄弟姐妹，黑人父亲，黑人继父，他们都跟我住在一起而且很爱我，尽管我有着从出生就跟着我的黑皮肤，我还是一个很怕黑人的人。
这就是为什么我知道那个杀了Keith Lamont Scott（夏洛特市的一名43岁的非洲裔美国人在与警察的对峙中被当地警方开枪击毙）的警察的肤色时，我才看出媒体的评论是多么不靠谱。
“在北卡罗纳州出现因黑人被射杀而聚集起来的愤怒的黑人，他们与白人军官对抗，与Scott事件有很大关系。”媒体评论人Kurtz说道。
我知道Kurtz是错的，因为我有对黑人不合理的恐惧，这错误的归结到其他白人或是非黑人种族的
误导上。Scott其实是被一个黑人警察射杀的，而这些人举行了好几天的反暴力抗议——他们以为是一个白人警察。
我在一个检测是否有种族偏见的测试中发现，人们很容易把不好的事情和深色的皮肤联系起来，最起码有90%的白人和几乎一半的黑人这样认为。
这是我们正在进行的关于种族的讨论的一个关键方面，而这点经常被忽视。
因为我意识到自己的恐惧，我知道就算是“好”警察也会杀死一个没有武器的黑人，而且数百万的人还会觉得这样是合理的。最致命的偏见还是藏在我们的潜意识里的。它可以引诱我们相信只要我们想法正确、做法正确，或是做个好人，我们的行为就永远不会被种族歧视所干扰。

我不种族歧视，我喜欢那些和我一样有着深色皮肤的人。我和一个黑女人结婚了，她剪掉了长细辩留起了自然的短发，我还是一个十四岁黑男孩和十二岁黑女孩的父亲。我学习了丑陋的种族历史去再教别人。我毫不畏惧各种形式的偏执、歧视和种族主义。

然而，仍旧，我在和内心深处做斗争。
这就是为什么我可以理解这不是一些事你可以祈求它离开或是想让它消失就消失的，有目的的行为最终会变成第二个自然反应。
当黑人和警察冲突时，这种类型的种族歧视不会消失并且会持续扮演重要的角色，不管黑人多完美地配合警察工作，不管警察多严格地遵守他的训练手册。

美国长久以来建立在黑人是卑微且危险的思想上，这已经持续了几个世纪的时间了。没有体制的改革来消除这种偏见，我们只能在圈子里继续跑下去，一边哀叹我们的命运。

Airbnb已经开始采取行动来对抗某些屋主在分享房屋时的偏见。这家公司重新调整了预定和接收时的规则。Orchestras也取消了性别的选项。
在《不公平：犯罪量刑的新科学》一书中，Drexel大学的教授给出了一系列在犯罪量刑上需要调整的法案，这将会彻底根除量刑时的种族偏见。
上面的各种行为都是为了帮助我们抵抗那些不经意扎根在我们大脑里的种族偏见。
但是我想最重要的一步是先清楚一个人是好人并不足以弥补他的种族偏见或是未来的不公平。
因为潜藏的偏见可以影响到一个像我一样的好黑人，那么一定可以影响到任何人，腐烂任何一个我们信赖的体系。

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